A few weekends ago, my cousins and I went on our annual getaway. Like most cousin groups, ours has grown over the years to include several people who aren't actually related to any of us.
One of those guys I'd met on the same trip last year. We'd talked about what I do for a living, and he'd told me he was going to buy a moisturizer from Henkey's.
He did not buy a moisturizer from Henkey's.
Instead, he went to a guy he trusts — his gay best friend — and asked him what to use.
He told me this story while we were all drinking poolside. Then he looked at me and asked, with complete sincerity:
"Why do you gay guys always have the best skin?"
I've been thinking about that question ever since.
Partly because it's a fair question.
Mostly because the answer is more complicated than he probably expected.
Do Gay Men Actually Have Better Skin?
Obviously, being gay doesn't come with some dermatological advantage. There is no gay gene for smaller pores.
But there may be something behind the stereotype.
A small 2022 study of men in the U.K. found that gay men considered grooming significantly more important than straight men did and engaged in more grooming behaviors. The researchers described sexuality as both "freeing and constraining" when it came to grooming. In other words, gay men may have felt more permission to care about their appearance, while also feeling more pressure to look good.
As much as gay men have historically felt pressure to look good, straight men have historically faced a different kind of pressure: not to care too much.
There's some fascinating research on this. A 2026 study of 485 young male university students found that only 18.8% routinely used sunscreen. More interestingly, the less likely a guy was to use it every day, the more likely he was to score higher on measures of traditional masculinity: toughness, dominance, restrictive emotionality and avoidance of femininity were all associated with lower sunscreen use.
It's one study, from one university in Palestine, so I'm not going to extrapolate 485 college students to half the world's population. But the underlying idea probably sounds familiar to a lot of men: for a long time, taking care of your appearance could come with the risk of looking like you cared about your appearance.
The Gay Best Friend
My pool buddy didn't randomly choose someone to ask about moisturizer. He chose someone he trusted.
There's actually research behind that instinct, although not specifically about skincare.
Researchers have studied the relationship between straight women and gay men and found that, in certain situations, straight women perceive advice from gay men as more trustworthy. In one experiment, women rated dating-related advice from a gay man as more trustworthy than the same advice from either a straight man or a straight woman.
My friend wasn't asking for dating advice. And he's not a straight woman. So I'm not claiming there's a study proving straight men trust gay guys with moisturizer. But I suspect some version of the same instinct was at work.
He trusted his buddy because his buddy didn't want anything from him.
Trust Isn't the Same as Expertise
He chose the gay best friend over the gay guy who literally owns a grooming store.
I respect it.
Unfortunately, in this case the whole thing fell apart because his friend recommended the products he uses. Those didn't work.
My pool buddy has oily skin. His friend doesn't.
That's the problem with a lot of grooming advice, whether it comes from your gay best friend, your girlfriend, Reddit or TikTok. Someone can give you perfectly sincere advice based on a product they genuinely love, and still give you the wrong advice.
Because good advice isn't necessarily good advice for you. You can't borrow a routine built around somebody else's skin and expect it to work exactly the same way on yours.
The Gay Best Friend Is Becoming Obsolete
The more I thought about his question, though, the more I wondered whether we're watching the stereotype itself become obsolete.
I'm 46. Men of my generation grew up with some pretty rigid ideas about what men were supposed to care about.
You could care about your car. Your lawn. Your shoes, within reason.
But your face?
Wash it.
Maybe aftershave... the kind with alcohol so it burned when you applied it.
Moisturizer??
Gay men weren't completely outside those rules, but many of us had a different relationship with them. Once you've already violated one of society's bigger rules about what a man is supposed to be, putting cream on your face isn't much of a rebellion.
Maybe we simply got comfortable caring about this stuff sooner.
But look at the guys coming up behind us.
In 2022, 42% of Gen Z men in the U.S. said they used facial skincare products. Just two years later, it was 68%. Among American men overall, usage jumped from 31% to 52% over the same period. That's according to Mintel's U.S. men's skincare research.
That's not a niche behavior anymore.
And where are younger guys learning about all of this?
Their phones. More than half of American men ages 18 to 24 say they learn about beauty from TikTok.
And remember that study comparing gay and straight men's grooming habits? It found something else: men who were heavier social-media users engaged in significantly more grooming behaviors, regardless of sexual orientation.
Twenty years ago, a straight guy who wanted to figure out moisturizer might have asked his girlfriend. His wife. His sister. Or his gay best friend. Today guys have TikTok.
And increasingly, the young'uns don't seem particularly concerned about whether caring about their skin makes them less masculine.
That's progress.
More Information Isn't Better Information
There is a catch.
The young guy scrolling TikTok has access to more information about skincare than any generation of men before him. He also has access to more bad information.
And it's not just TikTok. Google "best moisturizer for oily skin men" and you'll get more blogs, lists and products than anyone could read in a lifetime.
Knowing that a product exists isn't the same thing as knowing whether you need it.
I don't think the challenge anymore is convincing men to take care of themselves. The numbers suggest we're winning that battle.
The challenge now is helping them do it without all the guesswork.
Which brings me back to the pool.
Eventually, we talked about his skin. What he'd been using. What wasn't working. Why something made for his friend's skin might not make sense for his.
In other words, exactly the conversation we'd had a year earlier.
Only this time he listened.
Turns out the guy who wants to sell you something can also be right.
So why do gay guys always have the best skin?
We don't.
But maybe we started paying attention sooner.
And judging by the guys coming up behind us, everyone else is catching up.
If you've got oily skin and you've been borrowing someone else's routine, start with these instead.
Why Do Gay Guys Always Have the Best Skin?
A few weekends ago, my cousins and I went on our annual getaway. Like most cousin groups, ours has grown over the years to include several people who aren't actually related to any of us.
One of those guys I'd met on the same trip last year. We'd talked about what I do for a living, and he'd told me he was going to buy a moisturizer from Henkey's.
He did not buy a moisturizer from Henkey's.
Instead, he went to a guy he trusts — his gay best friend — and asked him what to use.
He told me this story while we were all drinking poolside. Then he looked at me and asked, with complete sincerity:
"Why do you gay guys always have the best skin?"
I've been thinking about that question ever since.
Partly because it's a fair question.
Mostly because the answer is more complicated than he probably expected.
Do Gay Men Actually Have Better Skin?
Obviously, being gay doesn't come with some dermatological advantage. There is no gay gene for smaller pores.
But there may be something behind the stereotype.
A small 2022 study of men in the U.K. found that gay men considered grooming significantly more important than straight men did and engaged in more grooming behaviors. The researchers described sexuality as both "freeing and constraining" when it came to grooming. In other words, gay men may have felt more permission to care about their appearance, while also feeling more pressure to look good.
As much as gay men have historically felt pressure to look good, straight men have historically faced a different kind of pressure: not to care too much.
There's some fascinating research on this. A 2026 study of 485 young male university students found that only 18.8% routinely used sunscreen. More interestingly, the less likely a guy was to use it every day, the more likely he was to score higher on measures of traditional masculinity: toughness, dominance, restrictive emotionality and avoidance of femininity were all associated with lower sunscreen use.
It's one study, from one university in Palestine, so I'm not going to extrapolate 485 college students to half the world's population. But the underlying idea probably sounds familiar to a lot of men: for a long time, taking care of your appearance could come with the risk of looking like you cared about your appearance.
The Gay Best Friend
My pool buddy didn't randomly choose someone to ask about moisturizer. He chose someone he trusted.
There's actually research behind that instinct, although not specifically about skincare.
Researchers have studied the relationship between straight women and gay men and found that, in certain situations, straight women perceive advice from gay men as more trustworthy. In one experiment, women rated dating-related advice from a gay man as more trustworthy than the same advice from either a straight man or a straight woman.
My friend wasn't asking for dating advice. And he's not a straight woman. So I'm not claiming there's a study proving straight men trust gay guys with moisturizer. But I suspect some version of the same instinct was at work.
He trusted his buddy because his buddy didn't want anything from him.
Trust Isn't the Same as Expertise
He chose the gay best friend over the gay guy who literally owns a grooming store.
I respect it.
Unfortunately, in this case the whole thing fell apart because his friend recommended the products he uses. Those didn't work.
My pool buddy has oily skin. His friend doesn't.
That's the problem with a lot of grooming advice, whether it comes from your gay best friend, your girlfriend, Reddit or TikTok. Someone can give you perfectly sincere advice based on a product they genuinely love, and still give you the wrong advice.
Because good advice isn't necessarily good advice for you. You can't borrow a routine built around somebody else's skin and expect it to work exactly the same way on yours.
The Gay Best Friend Is Becoming Obsolete
The more I thought about his question, though, the more I wondered whether we're watching the stereotype itself become obsolete.
I'm 46. Men of my generation grew up with some pretty rigid ideas about what men were supposed to care about.
You could care about your car. Your lawn. Your shoes, within reason.
But your face?
Wash it.
Maybe aftershave... the kind with alcohol so it burned when you applied it.
Moisturizer??
Gay men weren't completely outside those rules, but many of us had a different relationship with them. Once you've already violated one of society's bigger rules about what a man is supposed to be, putting cream on your face isn't much of a rebellion.
Maybe we simply got comfortable caring about this stuff sooner.
But look at the guys coming up behind us.
In 2022, 42% of Gen Z men in the U.S. said they used facial skincare products. Just two years later, it was 68%. Among American men overall, usage jumped from 31% to 52% over the same period. That's according to Mintel's U.S. men's skincare research.
That's not a niche behavior anymore.
And where are younger guys learning about all of this?
Their phones. More than half of American men ages 18 to 24 say they learn about beauty from TikTok.
And remember that study comparing gay and straight men's grooming habits? It found something else: men who were heavier social-media users engaged in significantly more grooming behaviors, regardless of sexual orientation.
Twenty years ago, a straight guy who wanted to figure out moisturizer might have asked his girlfriend. His wife. His sister. Or his gay best friend. Today guys have TikTok.
And increasingly, the young'uns don't seem particularly concerned about whether caring about their skin makes them less masculine.
That's progress.
More Information Isn't Better Information
There is a catch.
The young guy scrolling TikTok has access to more information about skincare than any generation of men before him. He also has access to more bad information.
And it's not just TikTok. Google "best moisturizer for oily skin men" and you'll get more blogs, lists and products than anyone could read in a lifetime.
Knowing that a product exists isn't the same thing as knowing whether you need it.
I don't think the challenge anymore is convincing men to take care of themselves. The numbers suggest we're winning that battle.
The challenge now is helping them do it without all the guesswork.
Which brings me back to the pool.
Eventually, we talked about his skin. What he'd been using. What wasn't working. Why something made for his friend's skin might not make sense for his.
In other words, exactly the conversation we'd had a year earlier.
Only this time he listened.
Turns out the guy who wants to sell you something can also be right.
So why do gay guys always have the best skin?
We don't.
But maybe we started paying attention sooner.
And judging by the guys coming up behind us, everyone else is catching up.
If you've got oily skin and you've been borrowing someone else's routine, start with these instead.