Darby Saxbe wants you to feel better about your dad bod.
Saxbe, a professor of psychology at USC and author of the new book Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives, made the case in The New York Times last week that fatherhood is one of the best things a man can do for his brain and his long-term health.
She's right.
FACT 1: Fatherhood, the science says, builds men with healthier brains.
Saxbe's own research found that men's brains physically change after the birth of a child, they shrink. But stay with me...
What's interesting is, the changes aren't a loss. Somehow, those changes are an upgrade, particularly in areas linked to empathy and social understanding. The brain, she argues, is editing itself, cutting to the essential work of life. And the more invested a father was in the role, the more pronounced the changes were.
Becoming a dad, it turns out, is one of the most significant neurological events in a man's life.
FACT 2: Modern dads are showing up like never before.
Millennial dads are now spending about as much time with their kids as baby boomer moms once did, according to The Economist.
And Saxbe's research tells us exactly what all that showing up is doing. It's building brains wired for empathy, patience, and connection.
Fatherhood, the science says, builds better men.
FACT 3: The costs are real.
Lost sleep. Extra pounds. That's the cost of fatherhood. Any lifemaxxer will tell you those are things to be optimized: get a ring, a watch, an implant.... start tracking your data and maximize the hell out of it.
Saxbe essentially argues the opposite: it's worth it. The dad bod is a kind of badge of honor, evidence of a man who showed up.
She's right! Yes... AND...
FACT 4: Taking care of yourself compounds those benefits.
The guy who carves out time to maintain himself, not in a lifemaxxer, biohacking sort of way, but in the basic, consistent way that actually works, is stacking the benefits.
We're talking about the man who has a routine. Who pays attention to his skin, his sleep, his stress levels. This is the guy who goes to bed instead of watching the next episode. Who gets up before everyone else to get in a swim. Who applies SPF. And research shows that men who maintain that kind of consistent physical engagement throughout their lives show significantly less brain deterioration as they age.
The instinct for self-care is the same instinct that makes a good father: showing up, paying attention, doing the small things consistently until they add up to something.
The brain benefits Saxbe rightly attributes to fatherhood grow when you take care of yourself too. And the man who feels good in his body shows his kids something also: what a man with confidence looks like.
We call that modeling.
FACT 5: Isolation doesn't work. Life is a team sport.
The men optimizing every supplement stack and cold plunge in the name of peak performance — chasing the best possible version of themselves in isolation — may be missing the single biggest lever available to them. Because the science keeps arriving at the same conclusion on the value of relationships.
CONCLUSION: The man who is connected, to his kids, his partner, his community, is the man who lasts.
Fatherhood builds men. Taking care of yourself helps you last long enough to stay in the game.
Next week, we sit down with Darby Saxbe herself. More then.
The Dad Bod is Healthy. But You Can Do Better.
Darby Saxbe wants you to feel better about your dad bod.
Saxbe, a professor of psychology at USC and author of the new book Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives, made the case in The New York Times last week that fatherhood is one of the best things a man can do for his brain and his long-term health.
She's right.
FACT 1: Fatherhood, the science says, builds men with healthier brains.
Saxbe's own research found that men's brains physically change after the birth of a child, they shrink. But stay with me...
What's interesting is, the changes aren't a loss. Somehow, those changes are an upgrade, particularly in areas linked to empathy and social understanding. The brain, she argues, is editing itself, cutting to the essential work of life. And the more invested a father was in the role, the more pronounced the changes were.
Becoming a dad, it turns out, is one of the most significant neurological events in a man's life.
FACT 2: Modern dads are showing up like never before.
Millennial dads are now spending about as much time with their kids as baby boomer moms once did, according to The Economist.
And Saxbe's research tells us exactly what all that showing up is doing. It's building brains wired for empathy, patience, and connection.
Fatherhood, the science says, builds better men.
FACT 3: The costs are real.
Lost sleep. Extra pounds. That's the cost of fatherhood. Any lifemaxxer will tell you those are things to be optimized: get a ring, a watch, an implant.... start tracking your data and maximize the hell out of it.
Saxbe essentially argues the opposite: it's worth it. The dad bod is a kind of badge of honor, evidence of a man who showed up.
She's right! Yes... AND...
FACT 4: Taking care of yourself compounds those benefits.
The guy who carves out time to maintain himself, not in a lifemaxxer, biohacking sort of way, but in the basic, consistent way that actually works, is stacking the benefits.
We're talking about the man who has a routine. Who pays attention to his skin, his sleep, his stress levels. This is the guy who goes to bed instead of watching the next episode. Who gets up before everyone else to get in a swim. Who applies SPF. And research shows that men who maintain that kind of consistent physical engagement throughout their lives show significantly less brain deterioration as they age.
The instinct for self-care is the same instinct that makes a good father: showing up, paying attention, doing the small things consistently until they add up to something.
The brain benefits Saxbe rightly attributes to fatherhood grow when you take care of yourself too. And the man who feels good in his body shows his kids something also: what a man with confidence looks like.
We call that modeling.
FACT 5: Isolation doesn't work. Life is a team sport.
The men optimizing every supplement stack and cold plunge in the name of peak performance — chasing the best possible version of themselves in isolation — may be missing the single biggest lever available to them. Because the science keeps arriving at the same conclusion on the value of relationships.
CONCLUSION: The man who is connected, to his kids, his partner, his community, is the man who lasts.
Fatherhood builds men. Taking care of yourself helps you last long enough to stay in the game.
Next week, we sit down with Darby Saxbe herself. More then.